My neighbours all seem to know my business. Okay, not all of them. And no, to my knowledge they do not work for Cambridge Analytica (the company now revealed to have accessed and “misused” user data from up to 50 million Facebook accounts).

But people I don’t really talk to have expressed condolences on my cat dying and wished me a speedy recovery when I’ve been out hobbling after my dog. People whose names I didn’t even know offered assistance with errands and dog walking.

When people knowing your business inform you that you’re part of a community, it’s actually a nice feeling.

Under different circumstances, people knowing your business can be violating and overwhelming. An amazing difference when humanity is replaced with data.

Social animals that we are, humans have always gathered, organized, and helped each other out. At its best, Facebook is an excellent tool for connecting people, building community, and enabling organization around a cause (as are other social platforms).

But that usage is a pretty stark juxtaposition to the recent revelations of how Facebook has manipulated and sold users. The other tech giants don’t do it any less, of course. (Here’s a fun outline that includes Google’s efforts, and this goes even deeper.)

It’s not really surprising or new – assorted prior Facebook violations and hand slaps are outlined here – but some of the details of how it’s been done, and just how much information is at stake, are perhaps new to many.

If you need to catch up, here’s The Guardian’s piece featuring Christopher Wylie, the builder of, and whistleblower on, the technology. Here’s the CBC’s coverage of what the Canadian government is doing to investigate how Canadians’ data may have been accessed or misused. And here are Mashable’s recommendations about protecting yourself and your friends if you decide to continue to use Facebook.

I am well aware that social media has been influential in world events over the last decade or so. And smart, defiant people have provided good information and recommendations about protecting yourself if you continue to use the platform.

To borrow from writer and activist Rebecca Solnit:

“Use them. Try not to let them use you. Remember to disable Platform, which is how they pimp your data, use Adblock and Ghostery, don't click on the ads, and say as many bad things about FB as you can on their platform (and cheer their stock crashing). The time may come when we can say goodbye to a destructive and amoral corporation without saying goodbye to each other.”

I would also add: do not click on “Suggested Posts,” no matter how many hilarious Twitter moments or adorable animals they promise. Do not take quizzes or play games. Do not try to out what kind of dog you are, or see what you would look like as a woman/man when you have to agree to provide access to your account info.

These functions don’t need this access; they’re just mining your data, and apparently that of your network. Don’t forget that WhatsApp and Instagram are owned by Facebook as well.

Thing is, if you continue to use the platform, whether they’re tracking cat videos you shared or tracking the protest march you organized … they’re still tracking you. Don’t expect the European Union potentially slapping them with a few million Euro in fines or court decisions to make much difference, either.

Among all this coverage, there was something that didn’t click for me until I read this CNBC headline: Facebook is facing its biggest test ever – and its lack of leadership could sink the company.

Lack of leadership. Well, sort of. You’d think after all my years online and working in community-centric roles I would have clued in sooner: Facebook has never been about community.

The sheer scale of it all is obfuscating. World government machinations, two billion users, and shadowy organizations pulling a vast web of puppet strings.

Communities – all real communities – are about the people, and they need solid leadership to work.

Have you ever joined a group (on Facebook or otherwise) that started off small, friendly, and useful, but while it was founded by well-meaning people, they didn’t know what they were doing administratively, or didn’t want the leadership role and the physical and emotional labour it entailed?

These groups tend to very quickly become dumpster fires. Some grad student somewhere has probably worked out an equation for how quickly a group becomes an ill-behaved, chaotic mess if devoid of strong leadership, based on how quickly its membership grows.

In my neighbourhood, the community leadership is the retirees. They’re the ones who learn and share people’s business, and they were the first ones bringing me books and muffins and slipping notes under my door with offers of assistance.

In online groups, administrators need to be the leadership. It’s not an easy balancing act: they need to be friendly and active members, with clear understanding of why the community exists, as well as in agreement on rules and policies, with the authority to act on them in a balanced fashion.

Does that sound like what we’ve seen from Facebook corporate? Facebook has never had community-focused leadership because it was never intended to. Cripes, it began as an app for people to rate how hot college students were. It got to where it is now by following the money thrown at it and what that money wanted in return: us.

I also kind of wonder, given that Sheryl Sandberg is Chief Operations Officer, and how long she’s been (unspokenly) marketed as Facebook’s adult supervision … where’s she been in all this?

And what’s with publishing an apology in newspapers? Because … people house training puppies are more likely to see those than Facebook’s user base is.

In a perfect world, we would not be data products for every “free” service or platform we want to use. We would get a thorough education in media literacy, beginning pretty much in toddlerhood. (Start here!) We would take reasonable steps to secure our online presence.

I wonder if there’s a variant of the Dunning-Kruger effect for those more susceptible to manipulation online who, at the same time, think themselves less susceptible …?

Point is: this ain’t that perfect world. People behind our online lives know all our business, but there is no community in it. So remind me again … what’s in it for us?

M-Theory is an opinion column by Melanie Baker. Opinions expressed are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Communitech. Melle can be reached on Twitter at @melle or by email at me@melle.ca.